Relationship to my father!!?

hey there.. im having headaches with my father.. i do not feel he does not love me.. he always yell at me, tell me bad things, that im gay even though im not.. he also hurt me and my mom many times.. he tells us things that are ironically appropriate for him! worst, im the one who really discovered the miracles he's doin! he'd doing you know.. Fuc*ing things with a man.. i think he's a bi! yeah.. i saw him in the act! how miserable of me isnt it? how poor am I.. i dont have any masculine figure on home.. i dont have a brother.. i just always cry because of that.. im also longing for fatherly coaching, love? if only you know how much heartaches and pains ive gone with his attitude and personality.. his ideals are when i tell him i need love.. he says.. "drama. i dont like drama." see?? he's so naive. i hate him! but when i try to hate him, i end up like crying because of my kind heart.. he's still my father and maybe when i was little, he loved me very much. he changed. what can u say??